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You are here: Home / Sacred Connections / As My Child Enters His Senior Year, I'm Finding Peace in the Midst of Unmet Expectations

As My Child Enters His Senior Year, I'm Finding Peace in the Midst of Unmet Expectations

August 25, 2015 by Stephanie Leave a Comment

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Four years ago, I wrote a post about the struggle I experienced as I acknowledged that my oldest child was about to enter high school. http://stephaniejthompson.com/2012/07/13/as-my-child-grows-i-am-learning-to-surrender-control/  Disappointment surfaced as I began to realize that all of the dreams I had for him before he graduated from high school may not come to fruition… at least not in the tangible ways I had envisioned.  The Grand Canyon, Williamsburg, Gettysburg, Niagara Falls, Mt. Rushmore, mission trips, and experiencing other countries all held spots on my dream destination list for him. How could he have reached this milestone already?
The “Ifs” quickly pressed on me: “If we would have had more money”, “if we hadn’t faced health issues”, “If……..”  I felt like time was trekking forward and I was grieving the loss of expectations. My expectations.  And while I wish some of those items on the list could have been checked off, I am aware that God’s hand at work in his life far exceeds any of my expectations.     
 Today, he entered his last year of high school.   And you know what?  I was not the mess that I thought I would become on this day. In fact, I embraced it.  And I prayed God’s blessings on it. This summer, he had a ton of fun. Amusement parks, movies, lazy hot days drinking cold beverages, family gatherings, a life-changing, church youth group event all grabbed a spot in his life.  And throughout those weeks, I noticed something: he’s ready for a new season-in life.

Gone are the days of finding joy in a trek to the park, splashing in the sprinkler, a ride in the wagon(he wouldn’t fit in it anyway). It’s as it should be. Scripture bears witness to Jesus’s life as a boy: ” And Jesus matured, growing up in both body and spirit, blessed by both God and people” (Luke 2:52 MSG).

Present are days of spontaneous, thought provoking discussions, seeing his maturity unfold in various moments of life, watching his identity as a follower of Christ affect his choices and questions about the future, and experiencing new journeys together.

Seasons of life are ordained by God. 


It’s been said of those early days of child rearing that the days are long and the years are short. I don’t know if he would agree with that quote but, as a parent, it rings oh so true. In those “short” years, I have seen God’s hand at work in answers to my hopes and prayers for him.  Sometimes, those answers came through “big” moments such as his decision to be baptized, receiving awards for musical skills or grades.  Often, my blessings came through the witness of his resilience and hope through challenging moments, words of wisdom or clarity, the revelation of character strengths which unfold in ordinary moments of life.  All of which point to the big picture that is being weaved; of which these past 18 years are just a small part.

I find comfort in knowing that many parents have traveled this journey before me.  I’m not referring just to the sisterhood of moms that I know, but sisters of long ago that had to let go of their kids and let God navigate their lives.  Sisters like Hannah (mother of Samuel), Elizabeth (mother of John the Baptist), Mary and Eunice (mother of Timothy).  Each of them came to a spot when they had to acknowledge that their children ultimately belonged to their God.

 I’ve realized that this year is just as significant as any other year of his life with us. Yes, it is his Senior year and there will be unique milestones to mark. But, God will continue to be at work just like in previous years. He will “mature, grow up in both body and Spirit, and be blessed by both God and people.”
And, like Mary, I will “treasure these things in my heart (Luke 2:52).”

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Filed Under: Sacred Connections Tagged With: expectation, graduation, growing up, Jesus, Mary, peace, senior

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When my first child was born 20 plus years ago, I envisioned taking just a few years off from my role as Pastor of Youth and Family. While that didn’t exactly unfold as expected, God used my gifts and skills in other ways. Read More…

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s2thomp

Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. Ho Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. However, walking the territory with my young adult children by my side became a whole new experience. Something profound happens when your kids see, taste, and feel the places that shape your life.

This wasn’t the first time, we ventured into the town of my paternal roots When my children were young, we occassionally drove through the town. We drove past relative’s homes and I pointed out favorite destination spots. However, the questions grew deeper and the curiosity expanded as they grew older. Connections to itheir story have been formed.

We enjoyed stomping around the nostalgic grounds together while recognizing how our family’s story fits into a bigger one. I whirled around with my kids on the same carnival ride seats that I once shared with my parents and siblings. We munched on the same tasty comfort food that I delighted in as a child. And watched, with wonder, the twinkly lights of a magical place, lighting up a dusky hot summer night. We walked in the footsteps of those in their personal narrative.

The deeper thoughts and questions came as we winded through the small town, retracing the paths of my youth. However, this time around, their ears longed to know more. How is this person related? Who was the relative that was known for…..? The visual unfolding of a story gives you a context for understanding what has shaped you. It is both formative and yet allows for questions and discerning what you will do with it. What will you embrace and how will you respond to it’s influences?

These are the moments that I do not want to take for granted. Navigating our story together is a gift.

#familystories #parentingyoungadults
#whoami #ancestorsspeak
#familyroots #stephaniejthompson
#Redbudwriters
"Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorient "Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorienting with our whole being. Surrendering vocational plans and expectations. Using our finances,time and talents in ways that take us out of our comfort zones. Letting go of previously held assumptions about who Jesus is."

#Redbudwriters #Jesusinterrupts #Luke5 #followingjesus #discipleship
I love my shoes. My eyes initially spotted them i I love my shoes.

My eyes initially spotted them in an advertisement in my social media feed. Truthfully, it wasn’t completely a coinicidence that they showed up in the midst of my scrolling. My buying habits are not secretive to the bots monitoring my digital life. I can’t hide from the reminders of my sketchers sandals shoe fascination. Both the ads and my daughter’s laughing comments make me confront my guilty pleasure.

This pair intrigued me. Both function and style appealed to me. Specifically, the ancient sparkly design made me think of a different time and civilation. That may sound silly. However, I am always on a quest to recognize my identity within the contexts of those who came before me and those who live different narratives from myself. In a sense, the sandals are a visible reminder to keep walking into those paths.

Most recently, they waded into the Caribbean Ocean, paddled my body through Cenotes in Mexico, and walked the sacred ground of encounters with people who don’t live in my native country. My sandals witnessed to my wonder at new smells, the beauty of creation and attempts to engage with human companions in ways that don’t require words.

Before walking into very different places across the globe, I encountered new narratives in familiar territory. Some of them included my own. My sandals comforted my feet as I walked into doctor’s offices, my insides quivering at updates from a yearlong of health battles. They accompanied me to conversations, some silly and others more serious with my young adult children.

And somewhere, in the midst of moving around doing seemingly mundane activities, I connected with people I never met. We exchanged laughs, shared insights, and simply acknowledged presence with an “excuse me” as we passed in aisles.

Someday, my sparkly shoes will wear out. I will be sad because of the sacred places I have tread with them adorning my feet. The stories they hold are way more fascinating than their decoration. So when they wear out, I can cling to the pictures and be reminded of the places I have seen the face of God as I navigate my days. 

#Redbudwriters #sacredplaces #imagodei #humanitymatters #ifshoescouldtalk
I am slowly emerging from under my broom tree. Tr I am slowly emerging from under my broom tree.

Truthfully, they don’t grow in the middle of suburban Illinois so the broom trees in my yard resemble Oak trees. However, metaphorically speaking, they served the same purpose for me: a place to crash in exhaustion from the overwhelming emotions pouring through my veins.

I found myself resonating with Elijah. (1 Kings 18) He felt the sting of brokenness. A fracture grew in his community, a group that shared a common identity. They were God’s people. That doesn’t equate to blind unity. But it meant commitment to working out together what that looked like in earthly life. Because this is where they lived. Not in a “spiritual place.” A physical place where God descended and intended to restore all things to the “very good” he declared.

But rather than place themselves in the messy human experience of listening and humility, they lunged toward pride and power. Community ripped apart. Relationships became defined by a zest for communal powers, control, and oppression-including those in their own community. They detoured from their purpose and identity. And Elijah wanted to escape.

So last week I resonated with his story. Sometimes the noise is too much. We are already thirsty from living in a world that is aching toward complete satiation with the life giving resources God is seeking to offer us. But when we are parched, the trust wanes. And like Elijah, I needed to seek refuge in something other than humanity. So I found refuge in other life giving members of creation. Because they remind me that God is still working and breathing life into a broken world.

Robin Wall Kimmerer, a botanist, professor, and member of the Potowami Nation, writes, “In some Native languages, the term for plants translates to “those who take care of us.”

I am thankful for the comfort of the trees who have always beckoned us to their presence. We just needed to recognize their sacred purpose. God meets us there.

#Redbudwriters #stephaniejthompson #godspeaks #treesspeak #elijah #godmeetsuswhereweare #godrestores
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s2thomp

Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. Ho Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. However, walking the territory with my young adult children by my side became a whole new experience. Something profound happens when your kids see, taste, and feel the places that shape your life.

This wasn’t the first time, we ventured into the town of my paternal roots When my children were young, we occassionally drove through the town. We drove past relative’s homes and I pointed out favorite destination spots. However, the questions grew deeper and the curiosity expanded as they grew older. Connections to itheir story have been formed.

We enjoyed stomping around the nostalgic grounds together while recognizing how our family’s story fits into a bigger one. I whirled around with my kids on the same carnival ride seats that I once shared with my parents and siblings. We munched on the same tasty comfort food that I delighted in as a child. And watched, with wonder, the twinkly lights of a magical place, lighting up a dusky hot summer night. We walked in the footsteps of those in their personal narrative.

The deeper thoughts and questions came as we winded through the small town, retracing the paths of my youth. However, this time around, their ears longed to know more. How is this person related? Who was the relative that was known for…..? The visual unfolding of a story gives you a context for understanding what has shaped you. It is both formative and yet allows for questions and discerning what you will do with it. What will you embrace and how will you respond to it’s influences?

These are the moments that I do not want to take for granted. Navigating our story together is a gift.

#familystories #parentingyoungadults
#whoami #ancestorsspeak
#familyroots #stephaniejthompson
#Redbudwriters
"Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorient "Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorienting with our whole being. Surrendering vocational plans and expectations. Using our finances,time and talents in ways that take us out of our comfort zones. Letting go of previously held assumptions about who Jesus is."

#Redbudwriters #Jesusinterrupts #Luke5 #followingjesus #discipleship
I love my shoes. My eyes initially spotted them i I love my shoes.

My eyes initially spotted them in an advertisement in my social media feed. Truthfully, it wasn’t completely a coinicidence that they showed up in the midst of my scrolling. My buying habits are not secretive to the bots monitoring my digital life. I can’t hide from the reminders of my sketchers sandals shoe fascination. Both the ads and my daughter’s laughing comments make me confront my guilty pleasure.

This pair intrigued me. Both function and style appealed to me. Specifically, the ancient sparkly design made me think of a different time and civilation. That may sound silly. However, I am always on a quest to recognize my identity within the contexts of those who came before me and those who live different narratives from myself. In a sense, the sandals are a visible reminder to keep walking into those paths.

Most recently, they waded into the Caribbean Ocean, paddled my body through Cenotes in Mexico, and walked the sacred ground of encounters with people who don’t live in my native country. My sandals witnessed to my wonder at new smells, the beauty of creation and attempts to engage with human companions in ways that don’t require words.

Before walking into very different places across the globe, I encountered new narratives in familiar territory. Some of them included my own. My sandals comforted my feet as I walked into doctor’s offices, my insides quivering at updates from a yearlong of health battles. They accompanied me to conversations, some silly and others more serious with my young adult children.

And somewhere, in the midst of moving around doing seemingly mundane activities, I connected with people I never met. We exchanged laughs, shared insights, and simply acknowledged presence with an “excuse me” as we passed in aisles.

Someday, my sparkly shoes will wear out. I will be sad because of the sacred places I have tread with them adorning my feet. The stories they hold are way more fascinating than their decoration. So when they wear out, I can cling to the pictures and be reminded of the places I have seen the face of God as I navigate my days. 

#Redbudwriters #sacredplaces #imagodei #humanitymatters #ifshoescouldtalk
I am slowly emerging from under my broom tree. Tr I am slowly emerging from under my broom tree.

Truthfully, they don’t grow in the middle of suburban Illinois so the broom trees in my yard resemble Oak trees. However, metaphorically speaking, they served the same purpose for me: a place to crash in exhaustion from the overwhelming emotions pouring through my veins.

I found myself resonating with Elijah. (1 Kings 18) He felt the sting of brokenness. A fracture grew in his community, a group that shared a common identity. They were God’s people. That doesn’t equate to blind unity. But it meant commitment to working out together what that looked like in earthly life. Because this is where they lived. Not in a “spiritual place.” A physical place where God descended and intended to restore all things to the “very good” he declared.

But rather than place themselves in the messy human experience of listening and humility, they lunged toward pride and power. Community ripped apart. Relationships became defined by a zest for communal powers, control, and oppression-including those in their own community. They detoured from their purpose and identity. And Elijah wanted to escape.

So last week I resonated with his story. Sometimes the noise is too much. We are already thirsty from living in a world that is aching toward complete satiation with the life giving resources God is seeking to offer us. But when we are parched, the trust wanes. And like Elijah, I needed to seek refuge in something other than humanity. So I found refuge in other life giving members of creation. Because they remind me that God is still working and breathing life into a broken world.

Robin Wall Kimmerer, a botanist, professor, and member of the Potowami Nation, writes, “In some Native languages, the term for plants translates to “those who take care of us.”

I am thankful for the comfort of the trees who have always beckoned us to their presence. We just needed to recognize their sacred purpose. God meets us there.

#Redbudwriters #stephaniejthompson #godspeaks #treesspeak #elijah #godmeetsuswhereweare #godrestores
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  • five minute friday
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