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As My Child Enters His Senior Year, I'm Finding Peace in the Midst of Unmet Expectations

August 25, 2015 by Stephanie Leave a Comment

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Four years ago, I wrote a post about the struggle I experienced as I acknowledged that my oldest child was about to enter high school. http://stephaniejthompson.com/2012/07/13/as-my-child-grows-i-am-learning-to-surrender-control/  Disappointment surfaced as I began to realize that all of the dreams I had for him before he graduated from high school may not come to fruition… at least not in the tangible ways I had envisioned.  The Grand Canyon, Williamsburg, Gettysburg, Niagara Falls, Mt. Rushmore, mission trips, and experiencing other countries all held spots on my dream destination list for him. How could he have reached this milestone already?
The “Ifs” quickly pressed on me: “If we would have had more money”, “if we hadn’t faced health issues”, “If……..”  I felt like time was trekking forward and I was grieving the loss of expectations. My expectations.  And while I wish some of those items on the list could have been checked off, I am aware that God’s hand at work in his life far exceeds any of my expectations.     
 Today, he entered his last year of high school.   And you know what?  I was not the mess that I thought I would become on this day. In fact, I embraced it.  And I prayed God’s blessings on it. This summer, he had a ton of fun. Amusement parks, movies, lazy hot days drinking cold beverages, family gatherings, a life-changing, church youth group event all grabbed a spot in his life.  And throughout those weeks, I noticed something: he’s ready for a new season-in life.

Gone are the days of finding joy in a trek to the park, splashing in the sprinkler, a ride in the wagon(he wouldn’t fit in it anyway). It’s as it should be. Scripture bears witness to Jesus’s life as a boy: ” And Jesus matured, growing up in both body and spirit, blessed by both God and people” (Luke 2:52 MSG).

Present are days of spontaneous, thought provoking discussions, seeing his maturity unfold in various moments of life, watching his identity as a follower of Christ affect his choices and questions about the future, and experiencing new journeys together.

Seasons of life are ordained by God. 


It’s been said of those early days of child rearing that the days are long and the years are short. I don’t know if he would agree with that quote but, as a parent, it rings oh so true. In those “short” years, I have seen God’s hand at work in answers to my hopes and prayers for him.  Sometimes, those answers came through “big” moments such as his decision to be baptized, receiving awards for musical skills or grades.  Often, my blessings came through the witness of his resilience and hope through challenging moments, words of wisdom or clarity, the revelation of character strengths which unfold in ordinary moments of life.  All of which point to the big picture that is being weaved; of which these past 18 years are just a small part.

I find comfort in knowing that many parents have traveled this journey before me.  I’m not referring just to the sisterhood of moms that I know, but sisters of long ago that had to let go of their kids and let God navigate their lives.  Sisters like Hannah (mother of Samuel), Elizabeth (mother of John the Baptist), Mary and Eunice (mother of Timothy).  Each of them came to a spot when they had to acknowledge that their children ultimately belonged to their God.

 I’ve realized that this year is just as significant as any other year of his life with us. Yes, it is his Senior year and there will be unique milestones to mark. But, God will continue to be at work just like in previous years. He will “mature, grow up in both body and Spirit, and be blessed by both God and people.”
And, like Mary, I will “treasure these things in my heart (Luke 2:52).”

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Filed Under: Sacred Connections Tagged With: expectation, graduation, growing up, Jesus, Mary, peace, senior

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When my first child was born 20 plus years ago, I envisioned taking just a few years off from my role as Pastor of Youth and Family. While that didn’t exactly unfold as expected, God used my gifts and skills in other ways. Read More…

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s2thomp

As I step outside, my face stings from the chilled As I step outside, my face stings from the chilled, blowing air pushing its way through my body.
I…can’t…breathe….

My throat is caught off guard; attempting to take in air at a slower pace. Yet, the frigid heavy wind finds my mouth and forces its way in; making resistance difficult.  A battle of the colliding forces entangles.

My scarf! Quickly wrapped around my neck, it provides  a warm safe space to allow the life giving process inside to proceed. ah……………….At once, the air flows out of my lungs and back in rhythmically. No longer stifled. I am surrounded by a fortress of protection.

A few years ago, I confronted an equally blustery wind. Blowing with blustery force into my soul. My lungs initially blindsided by the cold grasped to exhale. My eyes witnessing the unforeseen storm of sickness  emerge in my child. Death of my husband’s beloved grandmother. Death of a dear family friend. Death of an aunt. 

My lungs feel overwhelmed by the forces blowing into my body.

But breath is essential to life. The forces of death and life collide. A battle entangles. I fight. hard. I need a fortress of protection….and like the scarf, I find it right in front of me….and behind me….and next to me…..

Yahweh. The Holy Spirit. One breathing life into my humanity; One breathing life into my soul. Ruach and Pneuma; together awakening the physical and spiritual rhythms necessary for me to move forward to the next moments.

“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life,…” Deut. 30:19 #redbudwriter #pneuma #ruach #stephaniejthompson
Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew’s Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew’s house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus’ followers. “What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?”

 Jesus, overhearing, shot back, “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: ‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’ I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.” Matthew 9:10-13

Jesus is not addressing an issue of social etiquette. He isn’t even encouraging sympathy for the lonely. He makes a political statement at a table during an ordinary daily routine.

However, for the Pharisees, nothing about this scene is ordinary. Middle Eastern culture emphasized hospitality. In fact, God specifically instructed the Israelites to feed the foreigner and stranger. But this rebel rouser initiated this moment. He has the audacity to not only invite an unorthodox cast of characters to follow him but publicly displays sharing a meal with more of them.

Sharing a meal has sacred implications. It points to our common need to be nurtured in body and soul. And offers us the opportunity to taste the “Bread” that provides both. It can become a catalyst of reconciliation when we come to the table estranged. From God and each other.

Jesus’ feast speaks volumes. The Kingdom of God has arrived. Look. Ponder. Embrace. It does not thrive on oppression but liberates. And when you taste of it, you want to invite everyone else. Every One. To savor this life “on earth as it is in heaven”

N.T. Wright, in his book, “The Lord and his Prayer, writes “After all, we are ourselves only at Jesus’ table because he made a habit of celebrating parties with all the wrong people. Isn’t it about time we start to copy him?”
I sit in the narrative of Mary and Martha. In betw I sit in the narrative of Mary and Martha. In between stinks. Unexpected circumstances punch in the gut, making exhaling feel impossible. Who can fix this broken body? The shattered vision of what was anticipated?

Four days. But who is keeping track of time when grief hits? Days and nights morph together figuratively and literally. No appetite. Because what on earth can possibly satisfy in the face of loss?

Yet Jesus approaches, later than expected but he comes. To comfort, to resurrect. But first, to weep.

The smallest verse in the Bible speaks volumes. Jesus wept. (John 11:34-35)

He sits in the anguish of what surrounds him. It is believed that the source of his grief is his anger at death. He feels the pain of the flesh. He hears the wails of the mourners and laments that their current connection to Lazarus is broken.

Those four days from an earthly perspective did not feel filled with the “good” once declared by God over all things created. Or the promise of abundant life Jesus promised to those willing to come along side him.

Jesus wept.

Weeping recognizes that things might not always be fixed the way we expect on this side of Heaven. That doesn’t mean we stop calling for him, hoping for his healing here, and witnessing miracles in numerous ways. He is still working through all creation to make things right.

Jesus isn’t contained to his throne watching from a distance. He enters into our suffering. And while we wait, while we question all the things, we welcome his peace. His presence. His promises: “I am, right now, Resurrection and Life.” (John 11:25). #stephaniejthompson #grief #WaitingonGod #redbudwriter #Jesus wept
These books. Each one challenging me to reflect on These books. Each one challenging me to reflect on my identy as God's image bearer. But to recognize it fully, I must know God's character and the way it is revealed in the bigger story of the past and present. Learning from these diverse bold voices empowers me to bring my all to proclaim with my life that the Kingdom has arrived. What books are transforming you?
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s2thomp

As I step outside, my face stings from the chilled As I step outside, my face stings from the chilled, blowing air pushing its way through my body.
I…can’t…breathe….

My throat is caught off guard; attempting to take in air at a slower pace. Yet, the frigid heavy wind finds my mouth and forces its way in; making resistance difficult.  A battle of the colliding forces entangles.

My scarf! Quickly wrapped around my neck, it provides  a warm safe space to allow the life giving process inside to proceed. ah……………….At once, the air flows out of my lungs and back in rhythmically. No longer stifled. I am surrounded by a fortress of protection.

A few years ago, I confronted an equally blustery wind. Blowing with blustery force into my soul. My lungs initially blindsided by the cold grasped to exhale. My eyes witnessing the unforeseen storm of sickness  emerge in my child. Death of my husband’s beloved grandmother. Death of a dear family friend. Death of an aunt. 

My lungs feel overwhelmed by the forces blowing into my body.

But breath is essential to life. The forces of death and life collide. A battle entangles. I fight. hard. I need a fortress of protection….and like the scarf, I find it right in front of me….and behind me….and next to me…..

Yahweh. The Holy Spirit. One breathing life into my humanity; One breathing life into my soul. Ruach and Pneuma; together awakening the physical and spiritual rhythms necessary for me to move forward to the next moments.

“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life,…” Deut. 30:19 #redbudwriter #pneuma #ruach #stephaniejthompson
Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew’s Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew’s house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus’ followers. “What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?”

 Jesus, overhearing, shot back, “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: ‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’ I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.” Matthew 9:10-13

Jesus is not addressing an issue of social etiquette. He isn’t even encouraging sympathy for the lonely. He makes a political statement at a table during an ordinary daily routine.

However, for the Pharisees, nothing about this scene is ordinary. Middle Eastern culture emphasized hospitality. In fact, God specifically instructed the Israelites to feed the foreigner and stranger. But this rebel rouser initiated this moment. He has the audacity to not only invite an unorthodox cast of characters to follow him but publicly displays sharing a meal with more of them.

Sharing a meal has sacred implications. It points to our common need to be nurtured in body and soul. And offers us the opportunity to taste the “Bread” that provides both. It can become a catalyst of reconciliation when we come to the table estranged. From God and each other.

Jesus’ feast speaks volumes. The Kingdom of God has arrived. Look. Ponder. Embrace. It does not thrive on oppression but liberates. And when you taste of it, you want to invite everyone else. Every One. To savor this life “on earth as it is in heaven”

N.T. Wright, in his book, “The Lord and his Prayer, writes “After all, we are ourselves only at Jesus’ table because he made a habit of celebrating parties with all the wrong people. Isn’t it about time we start to copy him?”
I sit in the narrative of Mary and Martha. In betw I sit in the narrative of Mary and Martha. In between stinks. Unexpected circumstances punch in the gut, making exhaling feel impossible. Who can fix this broken body? The shattered vision of what was anticipated?

Four days. But who is keeping track of time when grief hits? Days and nights morph together figuratively and literally. No appetite. Because what on earth can possibly satisfy in the face of loss?

Yet Jesus approaches, later than expected but he comes. To comfort, to resurrect. But first, to weep.

The smallest verse in the Bible speaks volumes. Jesus wept. (John 11:34-35)

He sits in the anguish of what surrounds him. It is believed that the source of his grief is his anger at death. He feels the pain of the flesh. He hears the wails of the mourners and laments that their current connection to Lazarus is broken.

Those four days from an earthly perspective did not feel filled with the “good” once declared by God over all things created. Or the promise of abundant life Jesus promised to those willing to come along side him.

Jesus wept.

Weeping recognizes that things might not always be fixed the way we expect on this side of Heaven. That doesn’t mean we stop calling for him, hoping for his healing here, and witnessing miracles in numerous ways. He is still working through all creation to make things right.

Jesus isn’t contained to his throne watching from a distance. He enters into our suffering. And while we wait, while we question all the things, we welcome his peace. His presence. His promises: “I am, right now, Resurrection and Life.” (John 11:25). #stephaniejthompson #grief #WaitingonGod #redbudwriter #Jesus wept
These books. Each one challenging me to reflect on These books. Each one challenging me to reflect on my identy as God's image bearer. But to recognize it fully, I must know God's character and the way it is revealed in the bigger story of the past and present. Learning from these diverse bold voices empowers me to bring my all to proclaim with my life that the Kingdom has arrived. What books are transforming you?
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Categories

  • Advent
  • Easter
  • five minute friday
  • Help! This was not in the book!
  • Sacred Connections

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