The temptation to peek beckons me. How can I live in the tension of an unfolding story?
Whenever, I read a book, I am drawn into a new place.. The pages introduce me to new characters whose lives speak into mine. Their world challenges me to evaluate the mores of my own. I become immersed in a life outside my actual one; at times, I wish desperately that I could talk with these new friends with whom I connect. Maybe someday I will.
Regardless, I develop empathy for their struggles. How can I leave them in situations of uncertainty? Will they seek restoration for themselves and others? What if they make choices that are not in their best interest? Being present in the middle of the story and sitting in it is often uncomfortable.
I learned that I can’t necessarily control how the story ends. My story or others’ stories. Certainly I have choices that affect the unfolding of events in my life as well as the lives of others. We are connected. But I don’t always get a peek into how those “middle of the story” conflicts in the plot will resolve. That’s hard. But I know that God is redeeming those moments even if I can’t see it.
As tempting as it is to turn the page to the end, I recognize that won’t really resolve anything. I will miss all that the author reveals in the uncomfortable details of the “middle.” I won’t be privy to the dimensions of a character’s humanity and how it plays a key role in other elements of the story-not just the ending. I need to sit with every part.
So, I’ve learned to resist peeking at the ending. I don’t want to miss the beauty that can still be found in the hard, uncomfortable middle moments. In pages or in reality.
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Not to want to look ahead,
and see how fortune turns
is hard in all that I have read;
how curiosity burns!
I am that way with life as well,
impatient for the closure,
frustrated that God won’t tell,
and losing my composure.
But what if I’m requesting
that which does not exist;
perhaps God is suggesting
that we’re always in the midst
of a neverending story,
clothed in grace and bound for glory.
Andrew, your poetry is so poignant. I’m in awe of your gift. Yes, we are always in the midst of a never ending story.
I sometimes peek at the end of the story. I don’t sit in the middle well. I need to trust God’s plan in the middle of my story. He is at work even when I don’t see it.
Yes. The struggle is real.
I’m in the middle now. The beginning was rougher than expected but the middle, I’m realizing, is a place for growth and clarity. The end is in God’s much more capable hands, I’m happy to say. I like your perspective. FMF #36
There is so much to learn in the middle.