“While it was still night, way before dawn, he got up and went out to a secluded spot and prayed. Simon and those with him went looking for him. They found him and said, “Everybody’s looking for you.” Mark 1:35-37
He just wanted space. solitude. time to hear God’s voice pierce the silence. So he sought it.
But, soon enough, he was found. And his “alone” time ceased. Why didn’t he make sure he wouldn’t be found? Certainly, there had to be a cave or some other perfectly located piece of landscape that could have provided hidden refuge.
If you want to hide, you can’t make yourself available to be sought. But, therein lies the rub. We are called to do both.
Messy is hard. I for one prefer clearly marked appointed times to mark the rhythms of my days. Like bars on a score. But following Jesus doesn’t work like that because he didn’t work like that. Even Jesus made himself available to move at the discretion of his father.
As a parent, those two realities are constantly blurring. When do I seek out time alone? When do I sacrifice my agenda for the sake of being a Jesus incarnated presence?
Now that my children are older, the line is still blurry. But I have come to realize that sometimes I can hide in plain sight. I can find solitude in the midst of the chaos. I can also teach others that maybe I’m not the one for whom they seek. God can use others to meet their needs.
Jesus constantly traveled between these two places. In the midst, he pointed others to God when they were searching for Him. If he could find peace in this messy reality, so can I.
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