Life doesn’t always make sense. At least on this side of Heaven.
In the last few months, heartbreaking stories of unexpected deaths, devastating illness, and lives hanging in limbo have drawn my attention. In my human state, I crave an answer. Because if there isn’t one, that means that there are no earthly guarantees for me either.
Sitting with that truth is uncomfortable.
I have wrestled with it before; both personally and theoretically. My body shows the visible sign of the imperfect state of my residency through the scar on my shoulder. If you could see in my soul, I’m sure grooves would appear from the constant churning of my thoughts about God’s character.
And yet, I still don’t have the answers I desire. I probably never will.
So again, I ponder on God’s character and what is revealed through the stories that reveal it in scripture and how I’ve seen it infused in lives today. I am reminded of the hope that sustains in the midst of disappointment and disillusionment. Life on earth doesn’t have to make sense.
This isn’t all there is. There’s something bigger at work. Divinity. For that, I can sit in the uncomfortable.
“This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.” Matt 5:45-47
It becomes all to tempting to assign lives into categories of who deserves God’s favor. But we are all made in the image of God. Our Creator knows the number of hairs on all our heads. All of us were knit together in our respective mother’s womb. We are all known. We are all loved. Jesus died for all of us.
Thankfully, God’s actions don’t depend on our temperament of the season. We may not understand why God moves. Senselessness appears around us daily. But in the midst, I am challenged to embrace a God who grants mercies and redeems unconditionally.
Because it does not originate this side of Heaven.
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A constant reminder!
Beautifully written, Stephanie.
For what it’s worth, I don’t resent an increasingly painful and debilitating duo of cancers, because they were the door that opened onto my true life’s work.
I had thought myself so many things, from Marine to research engineer to teacher to pilot to professional athlete…and the dream – God’s Dream – that came true was for me to witness to Hope from a place here hope is denied and mocked by nature.
I would not have missed this for the world…well, OK, I could have done without incontinence.
#1 at FMF this week.
https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2018/09/your-dying-spouse-513-road-and-reward.html