Today I remember my son’s words from long ago.
“I don’t like how this feels.”
Ironically, his comment came in the midst of moments that appeared reason for celebration. My husband arrived home early from work. He even offered to prepare dinner while the kids and I relaxed in the living room. What could make my son feel uncomfortable with that scenario?
My son found comfort in routine but it changed. Despite the thrill of having his dad home early, his internal comfort meter had been interrupted. Over the years, he has learned to process and sit with the friction of fear and hope churning inside.
In a few weeks my youngest starts college. My oldest son lives out of state. My older two juggle college and work while navigating lives as independent young adults I felt almost euphoric at the possibilities that lie ahead in a new season of life. Today, I don’t like how this feels.
To everyone else, this day appears to be a defining moment in my life. That’s probably true. But it feels uncomfortable. Daunting. My days normally consisted of “mom” routines. Opportunities to pursue my passions were limited. So I saw them from far away and lived with the acknowledgement that one day there would be more time to explore. That time is now.
However, today I sit with both fear and hope. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from my son about overcoming discomfort. To those of us who find our current transition uncomfortable, I offer this. Let’s ask God to help us embrace this new season. God gives us new names knowing that there are new places for our feet to tread, new friends to meet, and new interests that will be revealed.
God knows we don’t like how this feels. But thankfully, we are loved enough to be stretched in spite of it.
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“God knows I don’t like how this feels. But thankfully, I am loved enough to be stretched anyway.”
I needed this today. I don’t get how exciting things can be so scary. Just last week, a guy wanted to talk on the phone with me. And despite the fact I had put it off for a while because of fear and just the unknown, it went better than I thought. I typically don’t like talking on the phone as it is, but fears were definitely get the best of me. But I love how patient God is.
It is funny how change, even good change can put us off kilter! I don’t know how many times I dreaded a change and it ended up being ok. You’d think I’d learn to trust it by now but I’m a slow learner. Thank you for the encouragement to ask God to help us embrace change. I needed those words! Cindy @fmf FB page