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You are here: Home / Sacred Connections / The Hard Work of Being Neighbors

The Hard Work of Being Neighbors

November 14, 2016 by Stephanie 4 Comments

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On November 9,the day after the Presidential election I woke up to a raw reality.
A tidal wave of voices-loud, vulnerable, celebratory, discouraged, respectful, disrespectful, urban, rural, old, young, male, female-washed over our shared land of Earthly citizenship.  The feelings of divisiveness that had been bubbling below the surface for so long exploded. Americans of every political perspective spoke: some through words, others through actions. And running through it all was a question that lurked in the hearts of all: Does my narrative matter-to anyone?

The Pharisees challenged Jesus with this question: What is the Greatest Commandment?
Jesus gave an unexpected answer: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength and Love your neighbor as yourself.“
The Pharisees themselves didn’t fully grasp the implications of their own question.
We don’t often grasp them either.

How can you love your neighbor as yourself if you don’t see your neighbor as yourself?
You see, for the past year, opinions, pleas, conversations have flooded social media, workplaces, social gatherings. There are lots of voices and not all of them are audible.  But does anyone really listen?
It’s much easier to reduce people to labels and perceptions that keep people at a distance.

Listening takes work. Especially when passions are at play. Many times, our passions are viewed in the context of our narratives.  The problem is that our narratives are not complete. We are still living them. There are more experiences that will shape us, new information that will challenge us and people that we need to encounter-that will further expand our perceptions of what it means to be Americans, as well as fellow Creations of our God.

Investing in others’ lives takes work. Lauren Winner writes about the spiritual practice of hospitality in her book Mudhouse Sabbath. She writes, “God’s creation gives us a model for making and sharing homes with people, but the reality of God’s Trinitarian life suggests that Christian hospitality goes further than that. We are not meant simply to invite people into our homes, but also to invite them into our lives.”

Further,Winner suggests that the invitation happen in the context of our messiness; not when we think we have our “home” orderly, That, my friends, requires vulnerability. Letting go of the walls of our cause and standing in the same space. Acknowledging that at our core-we our both humans-created in the Image of God. We come bearing our imperfections and our common longings for validation.

It’s easy to love neighbors like ourselves. When we feel misunderstood, we tend to look for comfort in those who share our views.  We long for someone to listen and validate our pain and hopefully our identity as we see it. But when we engage in those interactions, we must be aware that there is a bigger narrative at work. One that involves the stories of people different than us.

To love neighbors as ourselves, demands movement into places of discomfort, vulnerability, and risk. Because that is what we long for from others.

The show “Breaking Borders” (Travel Channel) brilliantly challenges us to come to the table-a symbol of community-and know your neighbor. Really. By Listening, Restraining the temptation to exert control with words. Hearing each other’s stories. Asking questions. Understanding that perspective is shaped by our personal stories.

Who would have thought that Israelite settlers and Palestinians living in the West Bank could engage in civil conversation on the politics of homeland? But it happened. Despite disagreements.  Sharing stories and breaking bread together remove walls. We recognize that most of “those” people are really like us.

Loving our neighbor can only come about through recognizing that Jesus makes it happen. Even if our neighbors don’t know him. He’s the root of our love.
God ordained love. The kind that transforms the way we see each other through our Earthly lens. Love that is born out of the Holiness of God’s character. Sacrificial love as described in 1 John 4:7-9.

Navigating through these tumultuous waters is not easy, friends. Can we covenant to doing the hard work together? To venture into those sacred spaces as we are led? And to be willing to be transformed in the process?

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Filed Under: Sacred Connections Tagged With: Americans, covenant, homes, Hospitality, Jesus, listen, lives, love, narrative, neighbor, sacrifice, story, Trump, value, voices

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  1. To My Christian Brothers and Sisters: What’s Become of Our Light? | Learn to Discern says:
    June 7, 2017 at 9:06 am

    […] the fall, I lamented the division in our nation through my post. http://stephaniejthompson.com/2016/11/14/the-hard-work-of-being-neighbors/  Since then, has anything really changed? The trespasses against our neighbors continue-some with […]

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  2. Christian Brothers And Sisters: What Has Become Of Our Light? - Amity Coalition says:
    July 21, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    […] the fall, I lamented the division in our nation through my post. Since then, has anything really changed? The trespasses against our neighbors continue-some with […]

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  3. Why Sharing our Cultures Helps Us Know Our Collective Story | Learn to Discern says:
    May 25, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    […] Following the last election, my ears were pierced by the sounds of crying voices. Some were familiar. But others were new. How had I failed to hear them? While political views appeared to be the primary factor for the broken spirit woven through our nation, I would argue that the underlying problem is that we aren’t listening to each other. As  I stated in a previous post, it “requires vulnerability. Letting go of the walls of our cause and standing in the same space. Acknowledging that at our core-we our both humans-created in the Image of God. We come bearing our imperfections and our common longings for validation.” http://stephaniejthompson.com/2016/11/14/the-hard-work-of-being-neighbors/ […]

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  4. Why Sharing our Cultures Helps Us Know Our Collective Story - Learn to Discern says:
    July 2, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    […] In recent years, I have been convicted of a startling truth: I don’t really know my American neighbors. Certainly I have relationships with people in my neighbor hood. Those bonds are blessings.  Yet, they aren’t the only relationships that shape me. I need more . More first hand stories of narratives different from mine. More voices reminding me that adding mine makes an impact More opportunities to be present with someone on a “front porch”; wherever that may be More feasting at a table with diverse views and unfamiliar tastes More gleanings of wisdom from those who have lived through events I have only heard about Our country is a vast, beautiful landscape of cultures. Some are ethnically rooted. Many are geographically based. But truthfully, we have formed invisible property markers between each other. Sure, we may visit ethnically specific neighborhoods for a “taste” of culture,  Rural areas and architecture become inspiration for chic decor and weddings. We bask in the conveniences of electricity, transportation, and factory made goods. We hold preconceived notions about neighborhoods-from the wealthiest to the most poverty stricken. From metro areas to small  towns. But do we know who we are? Following the last election, my ears were pierced by the sounds of crying voices. Some were familiar. But others were new. How had I failed to hear them? While political views appeared to be the primary factor for the broken spirit woven through our nation, I would argue that the underlying problem is that we aren’t listening to each other. As  I stated in a previous post, it “requires vulnerability. Letting go of the walls of our cause and standing in the same space. Acknowledging that at our core-we our both humans-created in the Image of God. We come bearing our imperfections and our common longings for validation.” http://stephaniejthompson.com/2016/11/14/the-hard-work-of-being-neighbors/ […]

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When my first child was born 20 plus years ago, I envisioned taking just a few years off from my role as Pastor of Youth and Family. While that didn’t exactly unfold as expected, God used my gifts and skills in other ways. Read More…

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