• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Stephanie J Thompson

exploring sacred connections with God and each otherr

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Mental Health Resources
  • Speaking
You are here: Home / Sacred Connections / What Comes After the Storm of Mental Illness Calms

What Comes After the Storm of Mental Illness Calms

February 27, 2017 by Stephanie Leave a Comment

Tweet
Share
Share
Pin


Now, what?”
I asked myself this a few months ago. After years, consisting of very long days, of family struggles with mental and medical conditions, the season began to change. At first, I dared not believe it. So many times, there had been brief glimpses of light as we forged through the darkness. But those moments seemed to fade quickly.

Once again, we would be left trying to find our footing and walk forward together: my daughter, my two sons, my husband and myself. To say the relationships between us were strained would be an understatement. When one person in a family struggles, everyone is affected.

The dynamics between us does not resemble the picture I had in my mind before my husband and I started a family. My daughter began treatment for All three of my children, as well as myself, have mood disorders. None of our conditions define us, but they do affect the climate of our home.

It hasn’t always felt like the refuge I hoped my husband and I would create. We have tried to initiate traditions, affirm each other’s strengths and attempt to carve moments of time together. We have sought out therapy, utilized resources and developed a support system. Humor has even found its way in. Yet, we couldn’t always keep the storms at bay.

Truthfully, the winds, at times, seemed so forceful I wasn’t sure I had the strength to resist them. My husband and I could be a strong force together; yet each of us developed our own methods of survival. We also felt as if the storm was invisible to everyone else. Mental illness carries a stigma. There are plenty of opinions regarding how to “fix” your child. “If we would just . . .”

Meanwhile, the unpredictable nature of episodes and triggers as well as the financial stress and school concerns mount. And in the midst of it all, you are trying to sustain your marriage, pay bills and pray for endurance, provision and healing.

It occurred to me one day that this long season of storms may have finally transitioned into a season of calm. When you are so used to living in survival mode, you don’t always realize the storm has weakened. Weeks no longer seemed packed with doctors’ appointments, evaluating medications, financial distress, school battles, emotional burnout. It may be the beginning of a season of restoration. On the surface, a calm after the storm sounds welcoming. But, truthfully, the implications are daunting.

How do you begin cleaning up the mess?

Branch by branch, piece by piece. I remember a horrific storm that erupted suddenly about 10 years ago. When it was safe, we made our way outside to access the damage. Thankfully, our belongings remained intact. However, our street and our yard were filled with tree limbs and branches scattered everywhere. In order to move toward restoration, you must begin cleaning up the mess one branch at a time. It may take a while. And I’ve learned (reluctantly) that’s OK

Restoring our relationships with each other will take time. One branch at a time. I often wonder how my kids would relate to one another had our situation been different. I will never know the answer. It would be tempting to dwell on the “what ifs,” but that would require looking back. We are heading forward. The medical concerns have not resolved. The winds may indeed return. We have found space to breathe and rest. We have found our footing once again and set our eyes on God; who is in the business of making things new. I find inspiration in the promise given to the Israelites:

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

Originally published at http://mudroomblog.com/cleaning-up-mess/, this post also appeared at https://themighty.com/2016/10/when-things-calm-down-parenting-children-with-mental-illness/

Tweet
Share
Share
Pin

Filed Under: Mental Health, Sacred Connections Tagged With: breathe, daughter, family.God, husband, Israelites, mental health, relationships, season, son, struggles, walk, wind

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Primary Sidebar

When my first child was born 20 plus years ago, I envisioned taking just a few years off from my role as Pastor of Youth and Family. While that didn’t exactly unfold as expected, God used my gifts and skills in other ways. Read More…

Member of Redbud Writers Guild

Follow me!

Follow me!
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Never Miss a Post

Top Posts

  • What the Woman in Mark 5 Teaches us About Pushing Through the Crowds
    What the Woman in Mark 5 Teaches us About Pushing Through the Crowds

s2thomp

#Christmas #Humanity #incarnation #allpeople #god #Christmas #Humanity  #incarnation #allpeople #godwithus #Immanuel
#Jesus #Christmas #hopes #fears #Christmaseve #Jesus #Christmas #hopes #fears #Christmaseve
Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of travelin Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of traveling with my young adult children. However, I’m not referring to family vacations or even the multiple trips back and forth to their current homes. The traveling I am invited to occurs via phone calls initiated by my big kids as they go about errands and work on homework.

Sometimes, I go to Target and virtually keep them company as they shop for items. Once in a while, I accompany them on a drive through line to their favorite fast food restaurant. Other times, I walk with them back from class to the dorm. There is no agenda outside of simply connecting and listening. And then there are moments where I am put on speaker mode and I sit in silence while homework is worked on. The reason? To simply sit in their presence.

These moments could easily be perceived as inconvenient and mundane. Truthfully, the calls sometimes interrupt my agenda. However, it is a blessing when your big kid initiates connection. It is something I never want to take for granted.

I wish we could have done more traveling together on vacations when my kids were young. Yet, traveling together and building bonding moments can look like a lot of things. I am learning to be thankful for all of them.

#herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #parentingyoungadults
#Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #p #Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #parentingcollegekids #parentingteens
As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the s As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the sounds outside remind me of the changes in my sphere. My neighbor plays her recorder with abandon on this first day of the school year. Suddenly, my mind jumps back to several years ago in this same house. I listened to each of my kids happily discover the joy of exploring this instrument. They fidgeted around, like she does, trying to create familiar tunes and listening to the way their breath helpes create sound.

This is the second time the landscape changed next door since our family planted roots here twenty four years ago. Each time, the new life sprouts up in different ways. Currently, the sights and sounds of young children remind me of where I once was and where I am now.

The seasons of parenting all have their variety of days. There were moments that felt long and dark. Sometimes the idea of getting up the next morning to experience another one felt overwhelming. But scattered throughout the years, were moments of joyful collaborative discoveries of the beauty of this life. Watching your child explore the world around them through their senses is magical. It refreshes any of our own that have grown stagnant.

I love living in an intergenerational neighborhood. Because I need it. Revisiting the seasons of life through new narratives brings me joy. I share in the excitement of the neighbor girl losing her tooth and laugh at her story about the tooth fairy forgetting her tooth. That happened in our house too.

My children are now young adults. People say “the days are long and the years are short.” That feels true. But I am thankful to have the opportunity to relive some of those days with a new generation. It reminds me of the welcoming spaces created for life to bloom, theirs and mine.

#neighborhood #parentingyoungadults #herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #stephaniejthompson
#humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompso #humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompson
Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. Ho Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. However, walking the territory with my young adult children by my side became a whole new experience. Something profound happens when your kids see, taste, and feel the places that shape your life.

This wasn’t the first time, we ventured into the town of my paternal roots When my children were young, we occassionally drove through the town. We drove past relative’s homes and I pointed out favorite destination spots. However, the questions grew deeper and the curiosity expanded as they grew older. Connections to itheir story have been formed.

We enjoyed stomping around the nostalgic grounds together while recognizing how our family’s story fits into a bigger one. I whirled around with my kids on the same carnival ride seats that I once shared with my parents and siblings. We munched on the same tasty comfort food that I delighted in as a child. And watched, with wonder, the twinkly lights of a magical place, lighting up a dusky hot summer night. We walked in the footsteps of those in their personal narrative.

The deeper thoughts and questions came as we winded through the small town, retracing the paths of my youth. However, this time around, their ears longed to know more. How is this person related? Who was the relative that was known for…..? The visual unfolding of a story gives you a context for understanding what has shaped you. It is both formative and yet allows for questions and discerning what you will do with it. What will you embrace and how will you respond to it’s influences?

These are the moments that I do not want to take for granted. Navigating our story together is a gift.

#familystories #parentingyoungadults
#whoami #ancestorsspeak
#familyroots #stephaniejthompson
#Redbudwriters
"Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorient "Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorienting with our whole being. Surrendering vocational plans and expectations. Using our finances,time and talents in ways that take us out of our comfort zones. Letting go of previously held assumptions about who Jesus is."

#Redbudwriters #Jesusinterrupts #Luke5 #followingjesus #discipleship
Load More Follow on Instagram
My Tweets

Archives

Categories

  • Advent/Christmas
  • Easter
  • five minute friday
  • Mental Health
  • Parenting
  • Sacred Connections

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 8 other subscribers

Footer

Portfolio

s2thomp

#Christmas #Humanity #incarnation #allpeople #god #Christmas #Humanity  #incarnation #allpeople #godwithus #Immanuel
#Jesus #Christmas #hopes #fears #Christmaseve #Jesus #Christmas #hopes #fears #Christmaseve
Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of travelin Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of traveling with my young adult children. However, I’m not referring to family vacations or even the multiple trips back and forth to their current homes. The traveling I am invited to occurs via phone calls initiated by my big kids as they go about errands and work on homework.

Sometimes, I go to Target and virtually keep them company as they shop for items. Once in a while, I accompany them on a drive through line to their favorite fast food restaurant. Other times, I walk with them back from class to the dorm. There is no agenda outside of simply connecting and listening. And then there are moments where I am put on speaker mode and I sit in silence while homework is worked on. The reason? To simply sit in their presence.

These moments could easily be perceived as inconvenient and mundane. Truthfully, the calls sometimes interrupt my agenda. However, it is a blessing when your big kid initiates connection. It is something I never want to take for granted.

I wish we could have done more traveling together on vacations when my kids were young. Yet, traveling together and building bonding moments can look like a lot of things. I am learning to be thankful for all of them.

#herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #parentingyoungadults
#Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #p #Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #parentingcollegekids #parentingteens
As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the s As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the sounds outside remind me of the changes in my sphere. My neighbor plays her recorder with abandon on this first day of the school year. Suddenly, my mind jumps back to several years ago in this same house. I listened to each of my kids happily discover the joy of exploring this instrument. They fidgeted around, like she does, trying to create familiar tunes and listening to the way their breath helpes create sound.

This is the second time the landscape changed next door since our family planted roots here twenty four years ago. Each time, the new life sprouts up in different ways. Currently, the sights and sounds of young children remind me of where I once was and where I am now.

The seasons of parenting all have their variety of days. There were moments that felt long and dark. Sometimes the idea of getting up the next morning to experience another one felt overwhelming. But scattered throughout the years, were moments of joyful collaborative discoveries of the beauty of this life. Watching your child explore the world around them through their senses is magical. It refreshes any of our own that have grown stagnant.

I love living in an intergenerational neighborhood. Because I need it. Revisiting the seasons of life through new narratives brings me joy. I share in the excitement of the neighbor girl losing her tooth and laugh at her story about the tooth fairy forgetting her tooth. That happened in our house too.

My children are now young adults. People say “the days are long and the years are short.” That feels true. But I am thankful to have the opportunity to relive some of those days with a new generation. It reminds me of the welcoming spaces created for life to bloom, theirs and mine.

#neighborhood #parentingyoungadults #herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #stephaniejthompson
#humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompso #humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompson
Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. Ho Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. However, walking the territory with my young adult children by my side became a whole new experience. Something profound happens when your kids see, taste, and feel the places that shape your life.

This wasn’t the first time, we ventured into the town of my paternal roots When my children were young, we occassionally drove through the town. We drove past relative’s homes and I pointed out favorite destination spots. However, the questions grew deeper and the curiosity expanded as they grew older. Connections to itheir story have been formed.

We enjoyed stomping around the nostalgic grounds together while recognizing how our family’s story fits into a bigger one. I whirled around with my kids on the same carnival ride seats that I once shared with my parents and siblings. We munched on the same tasty comfort food that I delighted in as a child. And watched, with wonder, the twinkly lights of a magical place, lighting up a dusky hot summer night. We walked in the footsteps of those in their personal narrative.

The deeper thoughts and questions came as we winded through the small town, retracing the paths of my youth. However, this time around, their ears longed to know more. How is this person related? Who was the relative that was known for…..? The visual unfolding of a story gives you a context for understanding what has shaped you. It is both formative and yet allows for questions and discerning what you will do with it. What will you embrace and how will you respond to it’s influences?

These are the moments that I do not want to take for granted. Navigating our story together is a gift.

#familystories #parentingyoungadults
#whoami #ancestorsspeak
#familyroots #stephaniejthompson
#Redbudwriters
"Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorient "Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorienting with our whole being. Surrendering vocational plans and expectations. Using our finances,time and talents in ways that take us out of our comfort zones. Letting go of previously held assumptions about who Jesus is."

#Redbudwriters #Jesusinterrupts #Luke5 #followingjesus #discipleship
Load More Follow on Instagram

Categories

  • Advent/Christmas
  • Easter
  • five minute friday
  • Mental Health
  • Parenting
  • Sacred Connections

Copyright © 2023 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in