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How Watching TV with Your Kids Fosters Important Conversations

October 25, 2016 by Stephanie Leave a Comment

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Once upon a time, (which didn’t seem so long ago), my husband and I snuggled and watched “our” shows together after putting the kids to bed.
Truthfully, we watched about a half an hour of shows before we feel asleep too.
There was a pretty clear line between the content of the shows that our kids found entertaining and what we enjoyed. Dora, Diego, Wordgirl are fascinating….to a preschooler. But growing older, non animated characters and talking animals no longer hold our attention. (although, I still find my self belting out “We Did It!” at unexpected moments of conquest).
Our kids were not just plopped in front of a tv as a babysitter (most of the time..). I would usually try to fold laundry or accomplish some other small task while watching television with them.  The goal was 1) to know the actual content before their eyes and ears and 2) find ways to engage them in conversation from the subject.  I’m sure you are familiar with the subject matter-kindness, respect, friendship, wonder of nature, understanding your emotions.  These topics are core values for most families-they are tenets  of our society. And they reflect basic characteristics which, we as image bears, “wear” as God’s children.
The infusion of God’s word into our hearts and minds comes about both through intentional discussion as well as those teaching moments that occur in the daily moments of life as a family. One way  to engage your older kids/teens in conversation about the intersection of faith and choices? Watching tv together.
WHAT?!
The idea really isn’t as unrealistic as you may think. Because, there isn’t just a one size (or show) fits all method.
So what to do?
There are three questions that you may be asking:
1)How do you decide what’s appropriate? What you choose to watch is a decision based on your family’s dynamics.. What we feel comfortable letting our kids watch may not suit your family’s comfort level.  There are so many factors that affect your decision. I trust that you are seeking discernment from the Holy Spirit in your parenting journey.
2) How would I ever get my teen to watch tv with me? Getting teens to watch a show with you may be like pulling teeth. Here’s the thing: it doesn’t need to be planned. Teaching moments often come through unexpected moments. We are fortunate because our one tv is in the living room- the gathering space where our kids hang out with their electronic devices. Yes, they do watch some shows on their laptops but they prefer the big screen. I know their favorites. Become familiar with a few. Catch a couple episodes with them. (It’s a great time to “pay bills” or “fold laundry” in front of the screen). When I notice that they are engaged in a segment of a show, I can utilize a few bytes for discussion at the time or later.
3)What could I say to my child that will elicit an actual response (not an eyeroll)?  Sometimes nothing. Stories can speak for themselves.  One of the shows my kids like is “The Middle.” The plots speak lessons for themselves. Who hasn’t wanted to crawl in a hole after experiencing something thoroughly embarrassing at school? Yet, everyone must face the choice in how to respond to those moments. Another one that my daughter and I used to enjoy is “Girl Meets World.” Yes, it can be a bit cheesy but the lessons are significant and address character in a way that hits home.

Take advantage of historical presentations

For our family, the miniseries “Roots” provided a visual account of slavery in a way that no verbal description could match.  Admittedly, the graphic events were difficult to watch. But this is history and the events were real.  The discussions that took place were initiated through my kids’ observations. Furthermore, we could engage them in identifying the effects of those events today.
The show “Timeless” (NBC) provides a fantastic opportunity for interaction. Set within the context of time-travel, the characters go back in time to various events in order to alter details which are seen as “destructive.” The twist is that the characters’ present lives are unknowingly affected by the outcomes as they are changed-and sometimes the tragedy still happens but differently. In the midst of it all, they are fighting against an antagonist who is seeking to destroy America by showing up at the same events and bringing about greater catastrophe. Not only does the show give you a real life glimpse into the complexities surrounding the events but the viewer is challenged to wrestle with the ways history impacts the present.
Though the values portrayed on some shows differ from those that we have instilled in our now older children, there is a point where kids must realize values, struggles, injustices, tragedies and consequences of choices in the world around them. The characters and stories emulate real life. Relationships are complicated, we all make choices we regret,  tragedy can occur at any moment. How do you respond?
Engaging with our kids about  these “glimpses” of the world around us offers opportunity to reinforce where hope is found, why following Christ impacts our choices, and how God’s Word navigates us through the wind-y paths of life.
It’s a modern context of the conversations between parents and kids that took place long ago:
” 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”  Deuteronomy 6:6-7
What conversations popped up as a result of your recent viewing?
 
 
 
 
 

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Filed Under: Sacred Connections Tagged With: content, discussion, Dora, embarrassment, faith, Holy Spirit, Jesus, kindness, life, parenting, respect, response, show, tragedy, tv, values

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When my first child was born 20 plus years ago, I envisioned taking just a few years off from my role as Pastor of Youth and Family. While that didn’t exactly unfold as expected, God used my gifts and skills in other ways. Read More…

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Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of travelin Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of traveling with my young adult children. However, I’m not referring to family vacations or even the multiple trips back and forth to their current homes. The traveling I am invited to occurs via phone calls initiated by my big kids as they go about errands and work on homework.

Sometimes, I go to Target and virtually keep them company as they shop for items. Once in a while, I accompany them on a drive through line to their favorite fast food restaurant. Other times, I walk with them back from class to the dorm. There is no agenda outside of simply connecting and listening. And then there are moments where I am put on speaker mode and I sit in silence while homework is worked on. The reason? To simply sit in their presence.

These moments could easily be perceived as inconvenient and mundane. Truthfully, the calls sometimes interrupt my agenda. However, it is a blessing when your big kid initiates connection. It is something I never want to take for granted.

I wish we could have done more traveling together on vacations when my kids were young. Yet, traveling together and building bonding moments can look like a lot of things. I am learning to be thankful for all of them.

#herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #parentingyoungadults
#Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #p #Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #parentingcollegekids #parentingteens
As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the s As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the sounds outside remind me of the changes in my sphere. My neighbor plays her recorder with abandon on this first day of the school year. Suddenly, my mind jumps back to several years ago in this same house. I listened to each of my kids happily discover the joy of exploring this instrument. They fidgeted around, like she does, trying to create familiar tunes and listening to the way their breath helpes create sound.

This is the second time the landscape changed next door since our family planted roots here twenty four years ago. Each time, the new life sprouts up in different ways. Currently, the sights and sounds of young children remind me of where I once was and where I am now.

The seasons of parenting all have their variety of days. There were moments that felt long and dark. Sometimes the idea of getting up the next morning to experience another one felt overwhelming. But scattered throughout the years, were moments of joyful collaborative discoveries of the beauty of this life. Watching your child explore the world around them through their senses is magical. It refreshes any of our own that have grown stagnant.

I love living in an intergenerational neighborhood. Because I need it. Revisiting the seasons of life through new narratives brings me joy. I share in the excitement of the neighbor girl losing her tooth and laugh at her story about the tooth fairy forgetting her tooth. That happened in our house too.

My children are now young adults. People say “the days are long and the years are short.” That feels true. But I am thankful to have the opportunity to relive some of those days with a new generation. It reminds me of the welcoming spaces created for life to bloom, theirs and mine.

#neighborhood #parentingyoungadults #herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #stephaniejthompson
#humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompso #humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompson
Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. Ho Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. However, walking the territory with my young adult children by my side became a whole new experience. Something profound happens when your kids see, taste, and feel the places that shape your life.

This wasn’t the first time, we ventured into the town of my paternal roots When my children were young, we occassionally drove through the town. We drove past relative’s homes and I pointed out favorite destination spots. However, the questions grew deeper and the curiosity expanded as they grew older. Connections to itheir story have been formed.

We enjoyed stomping around the nostalgic grounds together while recognizing how our family’s story fits into a bigger one. I whirled around with my kids on the same carnival ride seats that I once shared with my parents and siblings. We munched on the same tasty comfort food that I delighted in as a child. And watched, with wonder, the twinkly lights of a magical place, lighting up a dusky hot summer night. We walked in the footsteps of those in their personal narrative.

The deeper thoughts and questions came as we winded through the small town, retracing the paths of my youth. However, this time around, their ears longed to know more. How is this person related? Who was the relative that was known for…..? The visual unfolding of a story gives you a context for understanding what has shaped you. It is both formative and yet allows for questions and discerning what you will do with it. What will you embrace and how will you respond to it’s influences?

These are the moments that I do not want to take for granted. Navigating our story together is a gift.

#familystories #parentingyoungadults
#whoami #ancestorsspeak
#familyroots #stephaniejthompson
#Redbudwriters
"Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorient "Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorienting with our whole being. Surrendering vocational plans and expectations. Using our finances,time and talents in ways that take us out of our comfort zones. Letting go of previously held assumptions about who Jesus is."

#Redbudwriters #Jesusinterrupts #Luke5 #followingjesus #discipleship
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s2thomp

#Christmas #Humanity #incarnation #allpeople #god #Christmas #Humanity  #incarnation #allpeople #godwithus #Immanuel
#Jesus #Christmas #hopes #fears #Christmaseve #Jesus #Christmas #hopes #fears #Christmaseve
Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of travelin Recently, I realized I’ve done a lot of traveling with my young adult children. However, I’m not referring to family vacations or even the multiple trips back and forth to their current homes. The traveling I am invited to occurs via phone calls initiated by my big kids as they go about errands and work on homework.

Sometimes, I go to Target and virtually keep them company as they shop for items. Once in a while, I accompany them on a drive through line to their favorite fast food restaurant. Other times, I walk with them back from class to the dorm. There is no agenda outside of simply connecting and listening. And then there are moments where I am put on speaker mode and I sit in silence while homework is worked on. The reason? To simply sit in their presence.

These moments could easily be perceived as inconvenient and mundane. Truthfully, the calls sometimes interrupt my agenda. However, it is a blessing when your big kid initiates connection. It is something I never want to take for granted.

I wish we could have done more traveling together on vacations when my kids were young. Yet, traveling together and building bonding moments can look like a lot of things. I am learning to be thankful for all of them.

#herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #parentingyoungadults
#Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #p #Delicatedanceofparenting #parentingyoungadults #parentingcollegekids #parentingteens
As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the s As I sit in the quiet with the windows open, the sounds outside remind me of the changes in my sphere. My neighbor plays her recorder with abandon on this first day of the school year. Suddenly, my mind jumps back to several years ago in this same house. I listened to each of my kids happily discover the joy of exploring this instrument. They fidgeted around, like she does, trying to create familiar tunes and listening to the way their breath helpes create sound.

This is the second time the landscape changed next door since our family planted roots here twenty four years ago. Each time, the new life sprouts up in different ways. Currently, the sights and sounds of young children remind me of where I once was and where I am now.

The seasons of parenting all have their variety of days. There were moments that felt long and dark. Sometimes the idea of getting up the next morning to experience another one felt overwhelming. But scattered throughout the years, were moments of joyful collaborative discoveries of the beauty of this life. Watching your child explore the world around them through their senses is magical. It refreshes any of our own that have grown stagnant.

I love living in an intergenerational neighborhood. Because I need it. Revisiting the seasons of life through new narratives brings me joy. I share in the excitement of the neighbor girl losing her tooth and laugh at her story about the tooth fairy forgetting her tooth. That happened in our house too.

My children are now young adults. People say “the days are long and the years are short.” That feels true. But I am thankful to have the opportunity to relive some of those days with a new generation. It reminds me of the welcoming spaces created for life to bloom, theirs and mine.

#neighborhood #parentingyoungadults #herviewfromhome #Redbudwriters #stephaniejthompson
#humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompso #humanity #compassion #imagodei #stephaniejthompson
Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. Ho Recently, I retraced the steps of my childhood. However, walking the territory with my young adult children by my side became a whole new experience. Something profound happens when your kids see, taste, and feel the places that shape your life.

This wasn’t the first time, we ventured into the town of my paternal roots When my children were young, we occassionally drove through the town. We drove past relative’s homes and I pointed out favorite destination spots. However, the questions grew deeper and the curiosity expanded as they grew older. Connections to itheir story have been formed.

We enjoyed stomping around the nostalgic grounds together while recognizing how our family’s story fits into a bigger one. I whirled around with my kids on the same carnival ride seats that I once shared with my parents and siblings. We munched on the same tasty comfort food that I delighted in as a child. And watched, with wonder, the twinkly lights of a magical place, lighting up a dusky hot summer night. We walked in the footsteps of those in their personal narrative.

The deeper thoughts and questions came as we winded through the small town, retracing the paths of my youth. However, this time around, their ears longed to know more. How is this person related? Who was the relative that was known for…..? The visual unfolding of a story gives you a context for understanding what has shaped you. It is both formative and yet allows for questions and discerning what you will do with it. What will you embrace and how will you respond to it’s influences?

These are the moments that I do not want to take for granted. Navigating our story together is a gift.

#familystories #parentingyoungadults
#whoami #ancestorsspeak
#familyroots #stephaniejthompson
#Redbudwriters
"Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorient "Sometimes Jesus’s interruptions mean a reorienting with our whole being. Surrendering vocational plans and expectations. Using our finances,time and talents in ways that take us out of our comfort zones. Letting go of previously held assumptions about who Jesus is."

#Redbudwriters #Jesusinterrupts #Luke5 #followingjesus #discipleship
Load More Follow on Instagram

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  • Easter
  • five minute friday
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