When I started my blog, my desire was to share what God has put on my heart. My goal was to write at least once a week. I tried to stick to that plan. But, it hasn’t always worked out that way. Order and routine bring a sense of security to me. Scripture reflects order as part of God’s character. The creation of the world exemplifies the process of making order out of chaos; intentional order, in fact. Familiar rhythms allow me to prevent chaos (as much as I can-but when you have kids, that’s nearly impossible), plan out my days, bring a sense of dependability to others, and keep me feeling in control of my daily life. All of that is good. Mostly.
Yet, the hand of God also works in unexpected ways-leading to events in our lives that surpass our greatest expectations as well as those events that leave us feeling that God’s hand is invisible at times. Scripture testifies many times that; ultimately, we are not in control. Despite the benefit of striving toward order, the downside is that it is easy to think that we, alone, steer our ships.
These last few weeks have led me to feel out of sync. The boys have spent much time away. That leaves one child home. And quite frankly, I think some of the chaos was part of my expected routine. The laundry pile is drastically smaller, the meals are more informal and I have been able to finish a book! And yet, I am uncomfortable with this rhythm. Why? Because I am a “doer.” I’m sure it’s a result of being a mom, a first-born and a type A, among other things. Being a “doer” is also a part of the sinful nature. I am trying to just receive this new rhythm that has entered my life. I know that I will be wishing for it later. But, let’s face it, when you are not busy, you have more time to allow the Holy Spirit to transform and to speak. Being a listener is not easy. Especially when you are a “Doer.”
I remember reading a magazine article a few years ago where the author talked about a pledge to do “nothing” for God. “What?!?!?” The author was actually reflecting on the Christian’s temptation to fill in all our pockets of time with “doing things for God.” What if we truly listened to the Holy Spirit and discerned our purpose at a given moment? Psalm 46:10 says,“Be still, and know that I am God; I find it humbling and amazing that Jesus took time to be alone with his Father; knowing that there were people whose bodies needed his healing power; whose ears needed to hear his message of liberation. And yet, he chose to do “nothing.”
My challenge is to live into this aspect of following Jesus. Knowing that; like Him, apart from the Father, I really can’t do anything. (” Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” John 15:4)